Happy Valentine's Day

As I look back on my life, I've just realized that I have never had a romantic Valentine's day. Well not one where I was the recipient of someone else's romantic feelings towards me. I guess I've had a few Valentine's Days where I did all the planning and preparation to make someone else feel romanced.. and of course when my son was young I did all the things that make a child feel special and loved. But I've never had one where someone else did something special for me.

There are two Valentine's Days with my ex that I do remember. The first one was when my ex called me up at 11:30 in the morning to tell me to get two of our cats (Cornflake and Pretty Girl) ready because at lunch time he was coming to pick them up and taking them to the pound where they would be put to sleep that afternoon. This was all because they were in heat and had been meowing at nights which was interrupting his sleep. I was like.. OMG Nooooo. But he was adamant that this had to be done as he was not having another near sleepless night. I thought that I'd be able to talk him out of it when he arrived at the house but even though I had tears streaming down my face and begging him not to do it.. he went ahead and did it anyway. I hated him that day. That afternoon one of his co-workers asked him if he had any plans for me for Valentine's Day.. that's when he realized what day it was.. but it was too late by this point. The cats were gone and I was in no mood to be loving or romantic with him whatsoever.

The next year and for several years following, whenever February 14th arrived instead of saying Happy Valentine's Day or anything sweet to him.. I'd say.. today's the anniversary of when you murdered my cats. And I'd be pissed off at him all day for it. So there was never any romantic things happening on this day after that.

On about the 5th Anniversary of the death of my cats and on our way to work that morning, we stopped at the corner store because he wanted a coffee (I never drank the stuff so if he didn't get up early enough to make his own well be damned if I was going to cater to his cat killing ass). I went inside the store with him to purchase a lottery ticket and he decided to check the one he'd purchased the night before. Well he had won. Not a huge amount.. but I believe it was around $1200. Now instead of reminding him how he'd murdered my cats.. I offered to forget the whole thing and never mention it again if he gave half his winnings to me.

He didn't share with Sugarbear.. so to this day if I talk to him on or around Valentine's Day, I remind him. I'm really sweet about it too. I usually call him and just say.. Cat murderer.. then ask to speak to my son so I can wish him a Happy Valentine's Day.

I forgot to call him earlier today. My son isn't living with him anymore so had no reason to call the house. I might just send him an email after I finish writing this though. (I'm such a bitch sometimes.)

Hope you all have better tales to tell of your Valentine's remembrances and that if you currently have someone special in your life, that they romanced you and made you feel special today.

Peace.

My intentions...

My intentions for this blog are somewhat theraputic I guess. Is that what everyone uses their blogs for?

I intend to... vent; tell stories about my life (past and present); share hopes, dreams, fantasies and ideas; whine and complain; celebrate milestones in my life (wait, I live in Canada.. should that be kilomiterstones?); and whatever else floats my boat. I will probably write many mini novels on some topics.. I'm kind of known for this.. for some reason I need to share as much detail as possible.. otherwise how can you fully understand the situation or where I'm coming from. Hopefully I won't bore you to tears or alienate anyone as a result.

Also, I hope that if anyone reads my posts that they will be inclined to comment, whether just to say hello and let me know that I'm not talking (typing) to thin air.. or to share some of themselves with me through common experiences or their advice, support, (preferably constructive) criticism, or even opposing points of view.

Peace.

Guess I gotta start somewhere....

I'm kind of new to blogging so bear with me.

I am a middle aged woman who lives with her mother. No, I'm not a loser.. well not totally.. I'm her caregiver. My mother is 89 years old and dementia has started to set in, so some days are better than others (for both of us).

I have a 23 year old son who attends college back home (where I lived before I moved here to take care of my mom). His father and step-mother are still living there so at least he's not alone. I miss him terribly though.

Most of my life has been spent in Northwestern Canada and mostly in small cities or towns. The town I'm currently in is the smallest I've ever lived in.. only about 1500 permanent residents and another 500 transient residents (guys that work for the oil companies on rigs or as pipeliners, welders, etc). I call it Hicksville or Redneckville. You know the place.. where everyone drives a 4x4 truck, have nothing better to do than get drunk and obnoxious during their off hours, every 2nd word out of their mouths is a cuss word, and they go out in the bush and shoot rifles at any creature that moves just for the hell of it.. that kinda place. Not really my kind of town. Though I do have lots of relatives here (oh yippee.. can you tell I'm thrilled), and most of them are hicks/rednecks, so I am learning to put up with their crap to a degree. I refuse to participate though.

Anyway.. that's it for now.. it's a start. Hope I won't bore you too much with my mini novels.

Peace.